Thursday, December 31, 2009

I'm a fan of not being a fan.

Facebook pet peeve #1:

John Smith became a fan of booking it up the stairs after turning off the lights, i'm so tired but i want to stay up and talk to you :), i hate one word texts, finding money in your pocket, saying 'oh i get it' just so your teacher will go away, i'm not flirting, it's called being nice, trying to balance the light switch between on and off, saving texts that make me smile, how my best friend and i can say one word and crack up, and saying 'what' and then realizing 2 seconds later what they said.

Ok, is this really necessary? It would be easier to advertise things you are NOT a fan of.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

That day probably won't ever happen again.

Well, yesterday was eventful.
It was the last day of school before Christmas Break, which calls for parties in nearly every class. Except math, of course. I took a test. It was bad, but not as bad as the previous test.
At lunch we had a radio activity: KPGR vs. The World. The activity was projectile sunflower seed spitting against the softball team. It was my idea, but I couldn't participate. I can only spit a seed like 10 feet and we needed people who could spit about 30 feet. KPGR did come out victorious though.
I got rear ended on the way home from school. I was the one caught in the middle. I was stopped waiting for a pedestrian behind another car, and the girl behind me didn't stop. She hit me, I hit the car in front of me. No one got a ticket {Phew}. P. S. make sure you always have your license with you while driving.
I went to the KPGR Christmas Party at Brick Oven. That was fun. The highlight of the evening is the passing down of the KPGR black leather jacket. It goes from a senior to a junior every year at the Christmas Party. Guess who it was passed down to... Me. JLM will be the next initials to be engraved on the inside of the jacket. I haven't been so proud in a while. I guess being friends with Kody pays off.
I took a nap when I got home from the party too ... from 9:30 pm - 11:45 pm. That was weird.

I have come to find that there is no such thing as a normal day.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I'll take my twist with a shout.

Singers. These three guys have recently qualified as my top three. Their voices soothe my soul.

#3 - Matt Thiessen. Relient K.
Try listening to "Must Have Done Something Right" without falling in love.
#2 - Tyson Ritter. The All-American Rejects.
When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight.
#1 - Brandon Flowers. The Killers.
He's the man. I go into a trance whenever he opens his mouth.
Good work, guys. This list is something you should be proud to be a part of.

yucka mucka ducka

I accidentally napped.
For 4 hours.
On my floor.
Sitting up.

I still have to fill in my practice record,
Finish the history packet and study for the test,
And do the rest of that calculus assignment.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Calculus is on the mind...

Trapezoid Rule Worksheet

Question 3c:
Write a paragraph (short story) giving a possible explanation for the fluctuations in the amount of water in the tank over the given time period.

Mr. Palmer's answer from the solution guide:
Between t=0 to t=6.5 hours, the people are in camp using water to drink, wash, or fill canteens. From the time period t=6.5 to t=13 the people are gone from camp allowing the spring to refill the water tank. Between t=13 and t=18 hours, the people have returned to camp and used water again at a rate greater than the spring puts water in the tank.

My answer:
Once upon a time, there was a tank nestled at the base of a mountain. It was the primary water source for the city of Frell. At 0 hours, all the evil stepmothers in the city sent out their daughters to fetch water from the tank. The water tank was down to 525 gallons after 6 1/2 hours (there were a lot of stepmothers in the town). Then, the enchantress of the village made it rain, as to fill the tank. At 13 hours, the tanks was VERY full, almost overflowing. So, the enchantress sent the unicorns to drink the excess water from the tank. At 18 hours, there were 1310 gallons, and they all lived happily ever after. The End.

I guess when I see the words "short story," I immediately think "fairy tale."
I hope Palmer accepts it.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Jessie + Calculus = Counting Cars

Last time in calculus, I spent the entire period looking out the window. I counted all the cars that passed in that hour and 18 minutes.

Gold: 19
White: 38
Red: 17
Black: 18
Blue: 15
Green: 12
Silver: 38
Teal: 2
Orange: 1
Ugly striped truck: 1
School bus: 2
FedEx truck: 1
Fire truck: 3
Ambulance: 2
UTA bus: 1

Today when I went to calculus, Mr. Palmer had closed the blinds. Thanks, Teach, for taking away my one pleasure.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


The remains of a dead spider have been on my wall for months now. How long would it take to simply wipe it off? I don't know, 15 seconds. Why haven't I done it yet? Maybe I really like seeing spider guts and legs spread across two inches of my wall.

I'm going to read over Christmas break. Read for fun. No analyzing universal character traits, themes, or vocabulary. It's going to be great. I aim to read 3-5 books. First on the list: To Kill a Mockingbird. I think everyone who is anyone has read that. Except me. Thus, it is first on the list.

3 more A-days. 3 more B-days. 3 more finals. Hold on babe.

Raise your hand if you are crushing on Ron/Rupert. My hand is raised. Really high.

Happy Birthday to Kirsten {yesterday}. She's pretty awesome and attractive. I don't know how many 15 year old girls ask for swords for their birthday.

I'm afraid I'm addicted to space heaters. I waste around 20 minutes every morning sitting in front of that little machine. How does it have the power to draw in all those that pass by?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


-1 not enough sleep

-1 snowy roads

+1 seminary

-1 being tardy

-1 i don't understand calculus

-1 the lab in biology

-1 didn't read the chapter for english, had a quiz

+1 drawing an amazing stick figure of the dalai lama

-1 craaamps

+1 getting a text in spanish

-1 blue sweater

-1 mr. kurtz

-1 i don't understand calculus, still

-1 6 degrees outside

total: -8

that isn't a very good score

today is just one of those days.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I Prefer

Preference was sawweet.
I enjoy people that allow me quote The Office according to my liking.
Also, he's very nice.
We sort of look like we're in pain.
I think we're possibly the most photogenic people ever.

P. S. Happy 100th blog post!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

"Are you ready to sculpt and tone those buns and thighs?"

Listening to my peers talk about getting up early to lift before school, crazy weight training classes, how sore they are from aerobics class, basketball practice, and softball conditioning, made me realize that I'm probably going to be obese one day. So, today I did 40 minutes of pilates. It was rough, I will not lie. I hadn't done it in months. I'm going to train with Lara Hudson until I have "the body of my dreams." I hope I can stick to it.Now slowly roll back until your hips are right above your shoulders...

Am I a contortionist? I don't think so.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Today, I remembered why I like orchestra.

It's not going to class.
It's not practicing.
It's not trying to keep my music folder from falling apart.
It's not wearing all black.
It's not my callouses on my left hand.
It's not going to orchestra concerts.
It's not lugging my cello around.
It's not having a constant rosin stain on my left knee.
It's not having a sore ischium after sitting on the edge of my chair with impeccable posture for an extended period of time.
It's not the suppressed laughter when people find out I'm in "dorkestra."

I like the music.

Today we performed at Grovecrest Elementary. Seeing those kids get excited about orchestra music made me remember why I like it. I liked hearing them cheer and shout "Bravo! Bravo!" in their little voices. I liked seeing their faces when we played a really fast measure or two. There is never the same energy in class as there is in a peformance. Sometimes when we play a piece really well, it affects me {Wedding day at Troldhaugen, Molly on the Shore, Dives and Lazarus, Pirates of the Caribbean}.
Orchestra is cool. I like the music.

Monday, November 30, 2009

We Are Robin Hood!

This show has officially changed my life.
BBC Robin Hood.
I'm in love.

You can expect a long long long blog post about this in a week, after the series finale.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Tank you, Andy. Tanks.

I'm thankful for the Harry Potter books, and how I feel at home when I read them.
I'm thankful for sweatshirts. I wear my Les Mis one, my KUER one, and my red one, and basically nothing else.
I'm thankful for my dad's employment. We get to do a lot of cool things.
I'm thankful when I wake up early on a Saturday morning and I get to roll over and go back to sleep.
I'm thankful for my friends. Without them, I wouldn't have any friends.
I'm thankful I can drive, and I have the means for doing so.
I'm thankful I don't have to walk two miles to get water for my family.
I'm thankful when I have a nice little surplus of money.
I'm thankful for those people that motivate me to go to school.
I'm thankful for the gospel, the Book of Mormon, and the Atonement.
I'm thankful for Nicole Darais. Without her I would probably be dead, or worse: expelled.
I'm thankful that I only have to go to approximately 50 more periods of Mr. Kurtz's class.
I'm thankful for my family. They're basically the coolest.
I'm thankful for movies. They are how I find solace.
I'm thankful for technology, but not as much as you, you see. Always and forever.

Forgive me for posting this a couple days after Thanksgiving.
But hey, we should all be thankful everyday of the year, right?

Friday, November 27, 2009


Here's what I want to do today:
Read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Paint my nails
Redeem my iTunes card
Watch Robin Hood

Here's what I have to do today:
Clean my room
Write my talk
Make Kirsten's Spanish video
Do at least one Financial Literacy assignment
Write my Christmas list
Do that Biology assignment
Do my math homework

Too bad it matters.


27 days
13 hours
33 minutes
43 seconds

But who's counting?

Sing it, guys.

I'll be listening.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Anti-Twilight, I am.

Scene 1

CHARLIE: Happy birthday, Bella! You're 18 now, old enough to make adult decisions and choose your own path!
BELLA: Eh, I think I'll just keep doing whatever Edward wants.
CHARLIE: If I had any actual relevance in your life I'd be concerned. Anyway, here's a camera. Use it to take pictures of your friends.
BELLA: When you say "friends," do you mean "friend," and do you specifically mean Edward?
CHARLIE: Who else would I mean? The classmates you've been ignoring since you first laid eyes on Whitey von Pastyface?

If you want to read the rest of this hilarious and cynical screenplay, click here. It's definitely worth reading.

Team Weasley.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Week in Review

Leggings aren't pants
I have no self-discipline when it comes to Super Stacker 2 and a biology essay
Radio 2 DJs are capable of an INSANE game of catch phrase
Johnny Depp is, once again, sexiest man alive
Cat Stevens, Regina, and John Mayer soothe my soul
Kneader's French Toast really IS that good
Brazil has "Black Awareness Day"
I love Les Mis
Oreos do not stick to car windows in 32 degree weather
Macey's makes a mean twist cone
Ryskees Moonbeam
Chess board #4 is unlucky
Unexpected facebook messages are always welcome
MGMT is great for pre-mutual dance parties in the family room
A Weasley beats a Cullen
Emily Blunt is probably the luckiest girl ever
I know several boys that have cleaner shaven legs than I do
I love seminary
Rest in Peace, Heath
Swine flu shots = no pain whatsoever
Procrastinating financial literacy homework is my talent
I don't like getting 30 texts from Hayden Anderson during orchestra
Seeing what's left of a car accident is no bueno
I am, and always will be, a sucker for brown-eyed men
I love my friends
I'm getting progressively worse at calculus
I believe there is no such thing as a "normal day"
It was a waxing crescent, not a new moon
Ryan Moon cracks me up
Cruise control is great
Typewriters weigh more than I do
I want to be like Miss Smithson when I grow up
Math humor rocks (I'm "inte-girls," "Joe < Jameson")
I'm officially afraid of my A4 class
A turkey can be deep fried, but only when a ladder is involved
Rockstar Diaries is sawweet
The Big Show usually makes my day
In-n-Out is open in Orem
I know someone that was born in a prison
Mr. Van Dijk experiments on animals
Canada seems like a nice place
Jack poops under leaves
I should cut the crap; eat less junk
Pink dress with peach influences arrived
Potato skins bacon and chedder aren't that good
A spiritual journal was a good idea
A cell phone can easily get stuck between the mattress and the frame of the bed
Warmer, colder
Brock Duclos is a high quality person
I love the scriptures, prayer, and feeling the spirit
20 push ups
You can only read the marquee through the biology window so many times
Brother Whimpey dominates
That one kid is a phlem nugget
"Love you, bye" is my very favorite way to end a conversation
If i get another text from the school, I will spank a kitten
Creepers ask you for pictures of yourself in the middle of the night
Adding "skees" to the end of any word makes it coolskees
Boom, SEE YA!
Silly puddy
That pink worksheet gives me the willies
Cade Wilkes drank enough water to fill a small swimming pool
"I'd get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs"
Poison is the worst book ever
Wrigley's spearmint gum
Mr. Prestwich can see into your soul
I'm more of a nerd than I thought
Humans are bad for the environment
Rhubarb=the reaper?

This week might go down in the history books.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


In ninth grade, I was a wee bit obsessed with those pass-along emails.
"Forward this to everyone you know and you will be kissed by your crush within 24 hours!"
I have since moved on. As I was purging my inbox of such emails, I came across one that was actually kind of funny. So, I did it.
Put your iPod on shuffle and answer each question with the title of the song that comes up.


WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? how far we've come

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? don't charge me for the crime

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? failure by design

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? journey to the past


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? does your mother know?

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? interrogation


WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? the damage in your heart



WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? with or without you

some of these turned out pretty funny.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

stack successful!

I wasted a good portion of my day on this game today.
Super Stacker 2.
I beat all 40 levels.
And it only took about 3 and a half hours.
Here is the "song-that-affected-me" of the day:
The Heart of Life
By John Mayer
It is gorgeous.
I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go away, it should
But I know the heart of life is good
You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go away, it should
But I know the heart of life is good
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good
Today was not bad at all.

Monday, November 16, 2009


Question: Is Georgetown an ivy league school? Because... I really want to go there.
Also, Columbia College in Chicago. Their film program is off the chain.

I think I just really want to live in a big city.

Ok, that's all.

I'm done being ungrateful for where I live.

Utah's nice.

Sunday, November 15, 2009


November 17, 1998
Hi my name is Jessica. My Birthday is January 15th. I have three sisters. ther names are Kylie Kirsten and Jamie. I am 5. today i am going to school. my friends are mykel kelsey morgan jayna alisa. today I Had a great day today. We went to the library. we looked at terkeys and we pladed jaks. did you know that I ride the bus? my teachrs name is Mrs Paulson. I am in Kenrgarten. My class mates are Mykel Kelsey Morgan Jayna Kerrie Amiela Shylee Harmony Lindsey Shelby Marissa Simon Cameron Keven Jeffrey Pryce Michell Brandon Dallan Timithy Ryan Justin Alin Ryly. thats my class Mates. Its olmost thankgiving and on thankgiving me and my sisters are going to my Grandmas House. and are cusins to. we are going to sleep over. to. Its allmost kirstens Birthday! It's allmost my Birthday to! and it's almost chrismas to. I wunder what I'll get? What do think I'll get?

{excerpt from my first journal.}
I liked being 5.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Red and Black.

Les Miserables moves my soul.
Every time.

I can watch our VHS of the Les Mis dream cast over and over.
{in my life, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun....}

Friday, November 13, 2009


I've become really burnt out on calculus as of late.
One reoccuring phrase all of a sudden just irks me.
"Differentiate the function with respect to x."
"Graphs A and B have extrema at 4 and -1, respectively."
"So, the graph has symmetry with respect to the origin."
"Find the derivative with respect to the rate."
You know what?
I have no respect for calculus at all.

Even though i google-imaged "calculus" and got that picture,
I actually know how to do that stuff.
I hate so much about the things you choose to be.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

yoga? i love.

yesterday we did yoga at young womens. it sort of changed me. i felt totally refreshed. i think my body likes that.
"look forward to the future, with your feet firmly grounded in the present."
hmm, ok. i can do that.

also, i have a strange affinity for enya.

Monday, November 9, 2009


this is what happens when you ask someone to preference with paper doves and a yogurt lid:
you get a stapler in jello on your doorstep. and a note...

good one, brock. that was slightly awesome.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

this is me today.

I hate it when this happens.
It happened today.
And it's a real shame I procrastinate so bad.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

little letters.

dear hawaii,
you are pretty.
i'll be back soon.

dear miley,
i really like your song.
i really hate you.

dear body,
sorry i don't drink enough water.
i'm working on that.

dear paper doves,
i'm very tired of folding you.
fold yourselves from now on.

dear calculus,
i'm getting really sick of you.
please stop giving me grief.

dear mr. kurtz,
you are the creepiest man alive.
besides creed bratton.

dear throat,
why do you hurt me all day long?
what is this magic?

dear shrimp fried rice,
i've been craving you for days.
please grace me with your presence.

dear st. jeezy,
i'm excited to come visit.
see you soon.

Monday, November 2, 2009

To Nicole.

Your birthday is really soon.

P. S. This is probably my favorite photo of you.
K, bye.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Halloween 2009

Kirsten = Luna Lovegood
Jessie = Hermione Granger
Halloween = Awesome


I watched Wait Until Dark. I like it. I will probably enter an Alfred Hitchcock phase very soon.
I also watched Hook. Um.. quite possibly my favorite movie.

"Don't let your arms get tired!" "I am a child." "So, Peter. You've become a pirate." "Why doesn't someone just shoot me in the head!" "I hate, I hate, I hate Peter Pan." "Good night, Neverland!" "I want a cookie, I want a party." "He said he was a window washer." "Run home Jack!" "Reach on down and touch your toes. How long since you looked at those?" "The Boo Box." "Who's the shrub?" "You're afraid of getting sucked out." "Now crack open your mouth, and drool." "There you are, Peter!" "I want I want I want, me me me, mine mine mine, now now now." "Gandhi ate more than this." "Flunk the maggot." "Substitue chemistry teacher!" "To a ten year old, I'm huge." "Yeah, he lost 'em good!" "Rufio, Rufio, Ru-Fi-Ooooooo!" "Kill the lawyer!" "You lewd, crude, rude bag of pre-chewed food dude." "I've just had an apostrophe." "Good form." "He'll fight, he'll fly, he'll crow... and then he'll die." "Bangerang!"

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

"Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!"

I'm having a fairly serious wardrobe malfunction.
None of my clothes are cute this week.
I spent like half an hour trying to pick an outfit for today.
No luck.
And now, I'm faced with picking a sunday outfit for school tomorrow.
I thought I found a good one, but here's the problem:
It includes a pencil skirt, and I have to play cello tomorrow.
Side-saddling the cello isn't a fun thing.
This outfit situation isn't looking good....

Monday, October 26, 2009

It's a boring blog post. So deal with it.

Here's the thing. I don't really have anything to blog about today. So I'm just going to start typing, and we'll see what comes out.
I can't find my camera cord, so I'm unable to load photos from my camera.
I got my first comment of hate about my DJing today. Someone called in and the conversation went as follows:
"Is this Pleasant Grove High School's radio station?"
"Yes, it is."
"Were you guys seriously talking about Kneader's french toast?"
"That's really dumb. Could you please talk about something else?"
"{scoff} Sure."
"You should go find Jake Cook. He's the best DJ that ever came out of KPGR. And you guys really suck."
"Ok, anything else?"
"Ok, bye."

Someone had their Jerk-o's for breakfast this morning.
I would upload some photos of my radio show, but, as I mentioned before, I'm having difficulty locating the cord. They're exciting photos. Ryan and I made a great poster. And we have a new addition to the weird objects in the radio room: A stuffed mallard. Not a toy. We're talking taxidermy. Awesome. Also, creepy.

I got 88.75% on my math test. I won't lie, I'm super psyched about it. I was pretty sure I got less than 50%. My grade now sits at a 90%. That's without the quiz and assignment drops. I think if I'm really lucky, I could pull an A in there. An A in AP Calculus. Not bad.

I'm really excited to wear my Halloween costume to school. The rest of Halloween, not so much. I'm just kinda pumped to wear my favorite outfit: my Hogwarts school uniform. Also, this means I don't have to choose an outfit on Friday morning. That reminds me, I need to hot glue my wand back together. It broke.

I take back what I said about Alton Brown being obnoxious in and earlier post about Food Network. I started watching "Good Eats." Alton really knows his stuff.

I have to dress like a doctor for a murder mystery party we're having in English tomorrow. Goody.

I officially wish I could sing.

Office quote of the day:
Michael: Someone complained that the men's restroom is 'whites only.' Stanley, why would you think that?
Stanley: I didn't say that.
Creed: Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?

It would be cool if people actually read this blog.

Sometimes I mess around on picnik. I made this collage. Woo. I think I'll hit the sack now.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Wins the prize.

Robin Hood
Cheesecake shake
Abundant laughter

Today makes up for the dreadful days that meshed to compose this "super bad" week.
Who would've thought?

Come lay down in the white air,
Rest your head on an otter.

Friday, October 23, 2009

THE perfect car music

This is one of my favorite cd's ever.
It almost makes thinking about the ACT tomorrow fun.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


I like it when there are nice leaf showers pouring from all the trees.
Driving through the leaf-showers was probably the best thing that happened to me today.

Monday, October 19, 2009

you survive to cook another day

All of a sudden I am addicted to Food Network.
I really can't say.
A) I'm a terrible cook
B) Two of the most obnoxious people in existance dominate the channel {see images below}
C) It makes me hungry, which is a problem within a problem {see A}the chairman on "Next Iron Chef"
Is he really a ninja?
Alton Brown...
Can you say Syndrome?

Oh well, maybe I will be able to pick up a thing or two after watching
Chopped and Next Iron Chef.
But, probably not.