wut.

do you have a dream journal?

i don't. i should start one.

but i do have a thing on my nightstand where i write my middle-of-the-night thoughts and insights. usually i think these things are brilliant while i'm writing them, (or i am not actually conscious while writing) and always i think they are weird and hilarious and dumb to read the next day.

so here was something i jotted down yesterday right as i was waking up (and probably coming out of a dream...)


i'm glad i decided against giving myself a bowl cut in honor of the super bowl, because i would be regretting it days later (today).


and to that middle-of-the-night insight i say:

wut.

and here's a nail art fail, while we're here.
valentine's day is ruined.

the januaries

i've been a bit out of sorts.

it's easy to be overwhelmed.

i'm not overwhelmed with school or work or all my projects, per se. that's keeping me busy, but just the right amount of busy.

but, you know, i get overwhelmed about other things.

there are so many books. and i don't have time to read them all. there are so many movies and shows on my "to be watched" queue that i just can't quite get to. i want to practice my writing and screenwriting, but i'm supposed to write papers right now. i probably won't ever make a great film, because olmi made il posto and welles made citizen kane when they were in their 20s. i want to make cool stories and pictures that go with them, but i won't ever make anything as good as calvin and hobbes. and when jennifer lawrence is sick she wins screen actors' guild awards, and when i'm sick i fall asleep in class.

it's easy to think that where you are isn't where you should be,
whether that's geographically or mentally/spiritually.

i'm calling this feeling "the januaries,"

and i don't want it to become "the februaries" too.

so right now i'm remembering:

comparison is the thief of joy.
i'm doing my best.
i'm being kind to people.
i love what i study at school.
and i'm actually an ok person.

bye, january.

i'm hot and cold, hungry and full, human and dancer.

on days when you have a nasty cold:

skip work and all your classes,
build a blanket fort over your bed,
drink hot apple cider,
and watch 10 episodes of mad men.

that's what i would have done today.
unfortunately, i couldn't afford to take a break today.

but some things that helped with the sickies:

eating my mom's homemade pizza rolls,
listening to this song 100 times,
watching ben affleck do accents,
and getting my homework done early so i can jump in bed at 10:30.

good night, all. don't catch my cold.

this is 20.

today is my birthday. and it was a rad birthday. i already love being 20!

bye bye 19.

it's my best pouty teenager face.

and i'm getting so old, this picture is in black and white!

today is my last day ever as a teenager.

looking back, i realize that i did ZERO rebellious things during my teenage years.

i'm making up for it all today by being as teenager-y as possible...

so, excuse me while i don't clean my room and listen to the jonas brothers and one direction.

old journal stuff

journal entry from a 10-year-old:

11/18/2003

Hi. Today I went to school. Math is hard. I got 29/40. It was hard. I did homework forever. I hung out, but I didn't watch any tv today. Mrs. Geary said that if you don't watch tv, your brain will grow. Apparently my brain needs to grow so I can do math. Goodnight.

ha. what a sarcastic 5th grader.

my name, the ambigram

same right side up and upside down. yo.

that's all for now, folks.

ich liebe dich

i got an award from olivia, whom i accidentally met once. see?

the award: The Liebster Blog Award is given to upcoming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. The Meaning; Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.

hey thanks!

11 facts:

1. bears eat beets.

2. i do not like to be late. i am a "ready-to-go-10-minutes-early" type of person.

3. i'm going to marry the whole u.s. men's gymnastics team. have you seen them? handsome.

4. i sing really loud when i'm alone in the car. who doesn't, though?

5. i get scared whenever i open itunes and it asks if i would like to download the new version. i always click "don't download."

6. i like soy bacon better than real bacon.

7. i listen to b.o.b. and enya when i want to get pumped.

8. my favorite foods: cheetos, shrimp, cheeseburgers, and cadbury eggs.

9. my biggest regret in life is when i bought that album of 99 dubstep songs for 9.99. *forehead slap.*

10. i can recite the movie "a knight's tale." the whole thing.

11. a capri sun exploded in my bag today.

11 answers to olivia's questions:

1. favorite type of cheese: all the cheese is good. but probably grated mozzarella.

2. if you had to eat the same type of cereal every morning for six months: been there, done that. and it was special k with red berries.

3. who was your last text message: zachary levi. in my dreams.

4. what car do you think is the ugliest: probably a hearse.

5. favorite kind of dog: puppy.

6. who do you admire: i think i admire something about every person i know. specifically, my parents. and luna lovegood.

7. something you want to accomplish this week: cook some real food for myself.

8. if you could eat anything right now: cheeseburger. always.

9. a cool dream you've had: well recently i dreamed a whole movie. well, like the first 30 minutes. starring jesse eisenberg. i just need the funds to make it now.

10. favorite pair of pants: my green skinny jeans aka my fun jeans.

11. what do you like in/on your pancakes: chocolate chips.

my questions:

1. snog date dump: chandler, ross, and joey.

2. which quidditch position do you think you would play?

3. what color are your fingernails/toenails right now?

4. what is your favorite crayon color?

5. favorite sport to watch in the olympics?

6. which of justin bieber's tattoos is your favorite?

7. do you like seafood?

8. do you wear socks when you sleep?

9. what flavor of shake do you usually order?

10. night showerer or morning showerer?

11. top 5 celeb crushes.

i would like to tag everyone who has less than 200 followers! comment if you do it, so i can go back and read your answers! loveyoubye.

these are them

it was time to get new specs.

astigmatisms change. who knew?

"oh my cuss... is... is she blind?"

"i think she may have an astigmatism, or a cataract of some form.

anyway, her eyes don't see well."

-fantastic mr. fox

so many good lines in that movie. it's full of hidden gems.

google

here is a list of the last 10 things i googled on my itouch. i don't google things very often on it, but when i do google...

postcards from italy lyrics

cornelius and

jimmy stewart

what color are the utah jazz

web md

communist valentines

bonobo

adventures of tin tin

jack russell terrier

shrunken heads

what does this say about me?

hmm.

overload

"have you ever had so much to say about something, you couldn't say it!?"

-mr. smith goes to washington

i have. sometimes it feels like my brain and heart are too full and i can't organize myself well enough to articulate any one thought. that's today.

it's been busy over here lately.

here are my confetti nails:

i borrowed the glitter from kylie. it's saweeet. but also really sticky. so this may be permanent.

and my word of advice for the day is turn the sound off on your iphone/itouch before going to class. or else you might be going to check your email and accidentally tap the temple run app instead. which then makes really loud monkey screeching sounds in the middle of class.

loveyoubye.

tagged

i got tagged by mallory. who is awesome and gorgeous and loves cats. i'm not really going to follow the rules, but here it is:

post a picture of yourself

there i am, with a whole bunch of strangers. we were united by our love of hp at that moment.

1. what band(s) did you grow up on?

queen. I can sing you all the queen songs.

2. name three things that would be in your worst nightmare.

sea creatures, being kidnapped, my teeth falling out.

3. if your wedding was tomorrow, what would it be like?

there would be lace and a temple and a really nice groom.

4. what is your favorite band, album, song?

it is so impossible for me to pick a favorite. but right now i love brandon flowers' album "flamingo." and the song "just a game" by birdy.

5. kiss, date, dump. jake gyllenhaal, channing tatum, jude law? choose wisely.

this isn't a hard one for me. date jake, snog jude, dump channing.

a hard one for me that i refuse to answer is: ryan gosling, zachary levi, robert downey jr.

6. what are your favorite names for a boy and a girl?

sometimes i'm afraid of sharing my kids' names because i don't want them to be stolen. like i'm having kids soon anyway.... but i like emma and will.

7. if you had unlimited money, where would you travel in the world?

everywhere. everywhere. but first, i would probably go to iceland.

8. what is the funniest video you have seen on youtube?

right now i really like bad lip reading. and flula. the accent kills me.

9. describe your ideal man.

loves me. likes harry potter. doesn't litter. wears a seatbelt.

10. what is your fashion weakness?

grey. i have too much grey but i always like it and i keep wearing it.

11. give us a favorite quote.

wait on the lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart. wait, i say, on the lord. - psalms 27:14

favorites today

article of clothing: grey shirt

song: england by the national

nail color: go overboard by essie

boy: daniel

language: french

author: roald dahl

candy: almond joys

beatle: george

girl's name: emma

boy's name: will

ocean: atlantic

flavor: lemon

hp character: luna

animal: lion

country: iceland

color: yellow

friend: chandler

funny thing: edgar allan bro

here are my favorites from a day in january 2011.

some changed. some didn't.

my nemeses.

i think nemeses is the plural version of nemesis....

1. wet socks. enough said.

2. used bandaids. on the ground. in the garbage. floating in a swimming pool. anywhere. if i can see them, they are my nemesis.

3. chemistry. and all other science classes that i'm currently in.

4. portia di rossi. not really. i quite like her. but i have a reoccurring dream where she is trying to end me. true story.

and happy ides of march! (happy?). i celebrated by going to a shakespeare play, not by hanging out with ryan gosling.

pro

pro: i watched a really good documentary this week.

con: the store ran out of milk, so i can't eat my honeycomb right now.

pro: the homework load is much lighter this semester than last.

con: applying for my major is a little stressful and intimidating.

pro: new nail polish.

i can think of more pros than cons today.

there are more pros on most days lately.

i've posted this before

but it was a long time ago. and re-reading it made me laugh. it's one of my old journal entries.

November 17, 1998

Hi my name is Jessica. My Birthday is January 15th. I have three sisters. ther names are Kylie Kirsten and Jamie. I am 5. today i am going to school. my friends are mykel kelsey morgan jayna alisa. today I Had a great day today. We went to the library. we looked at terkeys and we pladed jaks. did you know that I ride the bus? my teachrs name is Mrs Paulson. I am in Kenrgarten. My class mates are Mykel Kelsey Morgan Jayna Kerrie Amiela Shylee Harmony Lindsey Shelby Marissa Simon Cameron Keven Jeffrey Pryce Michell Brandon Dallan Timithy Ryan Justin Alin Ryly. thats my class Mates. Its olmost thankgiving and on thankgiving me and my sisters are going to my Grandmas House. and are cusins to. we are going to sleep over. to. Its allmost kirstens Birthday! It's allmost my Birthday to! and it's almost chrismas to. I wunder what I'll get? What do think I'll get?

and this is what i looked like when i wrote that.

those were good days.

instead of going to work or class tomorrow, i think i'm going to look at terkeys and play jaks.

14 jan

my last day as an 18-year-old. take it in.

sunday morning.

there's probably something wrong with you if you set your alarm for eleven o'clock AM

and still snooze it.

and by "you" i mean me.

i blame it on the cozy indian quilt and the sound the heater makes.

doppelgangers

many people have told me i looked like the girl on school of rock when i was younger.

i did look like that.

and people tell me that i look like sam from icarly all the time. i get it about once a week.

i don't see this one as much...

arteest

it's a self portrait and it's a little freaky.

i think it's ok to play with your art tablet instead of playing with your friends sometimes.