i'm not overwhelmed with school or work or all my projects, per se. that's keeping me busy, but just the right amount of busy.
but, you know, i get overwhelmed about other things.
there are so many books. and i don't have time to read them all. there are so many movies and shows on my "to be watched" queue that i just can't quite get to. i want to practice my writing and screenwriting, but i'm supposed to write papers right now. i probably won't ever make a great film, because olmi made il posto and welles made citizen kane when they were in their 20s. i want to make cool stories and pictures that go with them, but i won't ever make anything as good as calvin and hobbes. and when jennifer lawrence is sick she wins screen actors' guild awards, and when i'm sick i fall asleep in class.
it's easy to think that where you are isn't where you should be,
whether that's geographically or mentally/spiritually.
i'm calling this feeling "the januaries,"
and i don't want it to become "the februaries" too.
so right now i'm remembering:
comparison is the thief of joy.
i'm doing my best.
i'm being kind to people.
i love what i study at school.
and i'm actually an ok person.
jack actually acknowledged my presence when i went home today which is good because that is getting rarer the longer i live away from home.
last night i was washing my face and i hit my head on the faucet but don't worry i'll be ok and i also listened to sam's town last night and i cried a little bit because it's really pretty.
i also heard this song called nicaragua and then i thought about nicaragua and the boy that is there and i got sad a little because he is in the jungle and mail is really slow but then i got happy again because he is the best.
i accidentally left a can of diet coke in the car and this morning it was totally frozen and i still tried to drink it and frozen coke chunks don't taste that great and right after that i dropped a handful of quarters and they all landed heads up so i think i'm a wizard.