i heard a funny pick-up line.

"I must have wandered into the great and spacious building, because you are exceedingly fine." Funny right?


Played an 18-hole tournament today. Ate a lot of gummy bears. Hit 170 yards with my 3-wood, multiple times (yay!). Almost got taken out by a falling branch. Smashed a bug on my own face. Chased my score card as the wind took it down the fairway on #14. Sank a sweet long putt. Audibly said "awww yeah" after the front 9 were over. Audibly yelled "I'm done" after the back 9 were over.


The Office is funny.

Andy: You need to set me up with Angela. I know she told you that she was looking and she's totally not responding to my moves.
Pam: What moves?
Andy: I have moonwalked past accounting like ten times.
Pam: I can't believe that's not working.

Michael: I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my place and I hate it. I can't tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don't even know why I make it in such great quantities.

Dwight: Attention! Attention! We only have a few weeks left and most of you are just as fat as the day we began.

Michael: I think you'll have fun because men from Scranton are handsome and they know how to show a woman a good time.
Dwight: Not that guy who murdered his mother, he was not so handsome. Uh, also Kevin.

Jim: I'd say one in six.
Pam: What?
Jim: I thought you asked me what our chances were of being murdered here tonight.